HiFi, in a car?

In the HiFi world, there are nutcases out there called audiophiles. I happen to be one of them, and until recently, we haven’t been able to experience music playback in cars at anything like the levels we expect in the comfort of our own living rooms. Car stereos have, however, been around for just about ever. In 1956, Chrysler vehicles had the option of having an LP player built into the dashboard. Then tapes came along, and with it, a new subculture of modified sound systems.

This following is going strong today, but it isn’t without its problems. Basically, the main issue is how these sound products are targeted. It’s an inescapable truth that most people who modify their mobile audio are young men, so companies target them by quoting outrageous wattage amounts and making the drive units look ridiculous. First, the wattage issue: I cannot, and will not believe that something like a 10 cm midrange driver could handle 100-200 watts; most of the time, it turns out these quotes are for peak power spikes. Normally, the average wattage of a 10cm driver would be more like 30 watts. Secondly, the components themselves: by putting ugly plastic covers over drivers, and amplifiers in garish boxes, speaker manufacturers hit their target market square on. No real effort is ever put into the sound quality, because the target market doesn’t care what it sounds like, just as long as it’s loud enough to wake up half the street.

This puts people who do want good sound quality in a bit of a mire, that is, until recently. A whole new generation of speaker systems have flooded the market, and who is leading the charge? HiFi manufacturers. These guys have taken all their values and injected their philosophy into a car environment. Ok, so there aren’t any kits you can go out and buy and install in your own car; instead, HiFi manufacturers have worked closely with car makers to tailor car interiors to get the best acoustic refinement from it.

So, what brands are doing this: Volkswagen, and it’s partnership with Dynaudio. Audi and Bang & Olufsen, who also works with Aston Martin and AMG. Jaguar and Bowers and Wilkins. Bentley and Naim, and a whole slew of other companies… and no, BOSE is not one of them *Runs away from Franco*.

A special mention has to be made for the Bang & Olufsen systems. They feature tweeters (the driver units that cover the high frequency range of the audio spectrum) that rise out of the dashboard, showing the driver unit facing up. A reflector above it then disperses the sound around the car. This makes for a more airy, natural presentation than most in car speaker systems that can be very in your face.

It is a well known fact around First Gear supporters that Franco and I have not yet passed our driving tests, so I reckon testing these sound systems are ideal for us. We don’t have to drive it, just listen to the music in a dealership. So, Ferrari? Lamborghini? Any chance of a test listen?

Roman

Motor racing started in a supermarket

We all know the source of all things is the supermarket. If you ask any child where their fruit and veg comes from, they'll reply Tesco. This is very amusing, but I'm not here to have a rant about that, I'm here to talk about the vehicle used to transport your food travels from its natural habitat: the shelf, to the checkout. Pushing the trolley around the supermarket must surely be the start of every rally driver, touring car racer and most ordinary people's dreams of driving.

There are so many different forms of motorsport which could adapted to trolleys. Lets start with the simplest of them all; drag racing, I'm sure at some point you've found a perfect empty aisle taken a monumental run up, then jumped onto the wheels to experience exhilarating faster than walking speeds. More experienced trolley racers will be able to control a trolley with heavier load of shopping, simple things like turning corners and stopping become more a lot more difficult, controlling the natural oversteer is a skill mastered after numerous trips to the shops. Some of the wannabe Ken Blocks take advantage of the oversteer and drift around between the aisles narrowly missing the shelves. To make the most of this new motor-less sport, find yourself some mates, or challenge rival shoppers in true Fast and Furious style, and map out a route from the entrance to the checkout. If you want to raise the stakes, why not race for pink slips by betting on your shopping.

As with all forms of motor-less sport, trolley racing comes with its dangers; beware of the metal tins of chocolates or bottles of beer usually stacked up in a blind spot between the aisles, you could cause some serious damage to yourself. Always begin with a trolley loads you can handle; too light and you might pull some wheelies, too heavy and you'll loose control and end up in the reduced items bin. Remember there are hazards such as old people hogging the aisles, or people in coloured uniforms pushing really big trolleys at horrendously slow speeds, so be prepared to stop quite hard. Last of all you will almost certainly be on CCTV, so if you are really nice to the race marshals (or security guards as they are normally known) they might let you keep the video.

Good luck!

Jaguar XJ

Jaguar XJ's have been in familiar guises for around several millenia, the only major thing changing on them being the shades of beige available on the seats. A few years ago, things started to get despirate. Jaguar was sent reeling from game changing designs like the E65 BMW 7-series, and the Mercedes S-class made the Jag XJ look like a Mahogany wardrobe on wheels, which is what it was. Then a savior-like figure started to make an impact on Jaguar, the name of that man was Ian Callum.

In 2006, he set the foundations for a whole new design bearing for Jaguars with the new XK, but wasn't until 2008 when the XF was released that one could really imagine what the next XJ would be like. The XF broke away from the incessant pandering to foreign markets who believed that a Jaguar should look good outside a country mansion; on the contrary, an XFR would positively disturb the old fashioned chic of a Devon Country House. The chrome air intakes alone would scare away foxes and other such cannon fodder for landed gentry.

This doesn't mean however that Mr Callum stuck the XF blueprints in the photocoppier and set it to 125% enlarge to design the new XJ. Oh no no, not at all... we need to look at the C-FX from 2007 to see where his inspiration has come from. When the XF came out, people were very angry (and rightly so) that it sported a sort of inflated, out of proportion representation of the C-FX's headlights. Thankfully the XJ has rectified it, sporting a focused front end that finally, and mercifully, does away with the dual lights of old.

For some reason, unknown to me, manufacturers have started to put large, prominent grilles on their flagship vehicle. Most recent evidence of this is the new BMW 7-series that has abnormally large kidney grilles standing proud of the headlights. Jaguar have seemed to adopt this same effect, which at some angles, namely at a 3/4 front view, make it look a little bloated. In fact, this car is somewhat of a phallic symbol; the size of V8s don't matter now, it's all about how big it's grille is.

The back of the car is more disappointing, not displaying the sort of taut rear end I was hoping for (rawr). Instead, the XF seems to have a curvy version of the Lancia Thesis' backside, which, unfortunately, doesn't gel with the front of the car. Little could be said of the side profile either, though the window frames give the car a much more organic look compared to a Germanic creation.

Aforementioned foibles quickly vaporise the moment one looks at the interior. Never, ever have I seen such a welcoming interior, with a peerless design. The closest thing I can get to describing it is that of a Riva yacht, mixed with a Sunseeker, it is that different. There is

an arc that curves from the door sills along the dashboard, which smacks of a V8

powerboat, not a car. It is of course conditional; the colour options are critical to getting the interior to look its best: the leather needs to be Parchment Semi Aniline with an upper fascia that is Bordeaux tipped with embossing, the headliner being Parchment as well. Match that with satin Zebrano, and quite possibly the most exquisite interior is made. Manly LEDs light up the instruments and various switchgear that act as expensive trinketry, all of which carefully skirt around the brash or uncouth side of the design spectrum.

This is a monumental leap forward for the Jaguar XJ, with a design that slots neatly into the 21st century, instead of sitting awkwardly like the old one. There are a few things to remember though: always approach the car head on, that's where it looks the best. Don't buy it in green, or there is a chance the justice police will convict you of crimes against design. Thirdly, only get the interior in the aforementioned colour scheme. Oh, and get the supercharged V8.

Roman

Learning to Drive: Clutch bite and roundabouts

Ok well it's been a while since I last posted, so I think it's a good time to talk about how far I've come with my driving lessons. Now, the clutch on a manual (or stick shift.. yuk!) is something that to me, is an arcane and somewhat cantankerous piece of engineering that should have been engineered out of existence about 50 years ago. So why is it still here, in this age of the anodised aluminium unibody Macbook Pros and high definition OLED televisions? It all comes down to the E word... the Environment.

The majority of automatic gearboxes produce more carbon dioxide than the equivalent manual variant. This is of course forgetting the magic DSG gearboxes that have two clutches, but they cost many monies. The reason (non double clutch) automatics haven't found their way into all cars is because they can sap the power of the engine, making the 0-60 time higher. Also, automatics aren't as efficient at handling the engine's power, so economy drops too. Basically, automatics should be avoided if possible (except the Jaguar XKR's ZF box).

So, unless you are very lazy or otherwise impaired, I'd suggest you learn manual. Well, atleast, that was my view until I started driving. It has taken weeks and weeks and weeks before finally managing to get the car moving off without it grumbling horribly. If you haven't driven, you probably won't know what clutch bite is, also, if you are a fairly experienced driver you too probably also don't know what I'm on about, since your foot automatically finds it out of muscle memory. It is that point in the clutch's travel where moving it any further would initiate the much enjoyed pastime of driving.

Clutch bite is a bit of a pain when you have to consciously think about it, and it can become nigh on impossible to find it quickly if you grip the wheel too tight. My previous lesson was all about junctions on a gradient, so for example when pulling out into a main road from a side road on a hill. This requires finding the clutch bite so that the car doesn't roll back. You'd think pressing the foot brake would suffice, but once you get your foot on that pedal, it's going to be really hard to re-find the clutch bite and move over to accelerator when you see a gap.

I am also working on my roundabout skills. These hideous creations still scare me, and I think the hardest part is spotting when it is safe to pull out, and having to make the decision as to whether or not one can pull out. It can be very tricky especially when cars don't indicate.

Roman

Learning to Drive

Learning to drive is something that has been a very long time coming for me, for 17 years (and 9 months if you want to be pedantic) I have been waiting to get behind the wheel of a car and be in control of it. Now that that time has come, I have since had a few lessons, and I feel it is a good time to give you all a rundown of my experiences.

I have been unfortunate enough to get lulled into a false sense of security formed by the continuos playing of Gran Turismo. These are the best games ever made, forget chess and Halo 3, there is nothing more satisfying than beating your best time 'round the Nurburgring in a Golf GTi. However, driving a real car in the real world is literally nothing like playing a slightly outdated but still much loved Gran Turismo 4 game. The first thing that will get you is trying to get into the drivers seat, it is an alien experience. Having stepped into the near side seat for so long, getting into the drvers seat is still a clumsy eperience for me. For some reason there's a steering wheel in my way which I have to negotiate past, and my left leg is unsure of itself, having always relied on the right leg stepping in first.

This is nothing, I repeat nothing compared to the shock you're going to get next. You have to turn to your right to get the seatbelt! Doing the little, subtle and deft shift to the left that allows one to see the seatbelt and therefore grab it was an art which I had mastered over the years, and now I have to go to the right! This is a cruel world I admit, but this is just mean. Here's where things get complicated. Your instructor will tell you to do various things, and you will soon be moving. And, and you've stalled... ok, don't panic. Clutch down, select neutral, restart the car, push down the clutch and go into first. This is the common pitfall with every driver, I tend to stall when I'm doing too many things at once, but as they say, practice makes perfect.

When you're up and running for your first time driving, changing gear will feel like the hardest thing in the world. When I changed gear the first few times, I'd make a hash of it; either letting go of the clutch too quickly, or not balancing the accelerator and the clutch well. As you do this more often, you will start to know what to do. Things gradually become more automatic.

Sooner or later you will approach something called a corner. These are rare, exotic things only really found in Europe, and this is where the great big round thing in front of you comes into play. Turn it to the right, and the car will move right, and well, you get the picture. The thing that you have to learn when steering is that you only need so much of it, depending on your speed and the severity of the corner. This seems obvious, but it will be tricky the first few times. Using the D-pad on a PS2 controller will give you full steering left or full steering right, so nevigating a corner in a game requires pressing the left or right button several times. In a real car, this is not the case. Steering is a smooth, fluid action, which prevents your passengers/driving instructor from vomiting over you.

Some corners are at such an angle that the A pillars will severly inhibit your view of the road. When I first experienced this, I was shocked and awed that after all this time cars have been on the road, not a single manufacturer has successfully brought an end to this problem. The solution is to of course try and look past the pillars, which requires some peering past them. It's not an ideal arrangement, and one which I hope to fix when I design cars.

Of what little reversing I have done, I can tell you that is is horrible and difficult. But then again I haven't done much of it and so I am very inexperienced with it. Junctions are what I am currently practising, and it takes an awful lot of multitasking. You have to start braking, and then the engine starts to grumble, clutch down, all the while looking left and right, palming into first. Use the clutch bite to crawl up to the dashed line, and if all is clear, let go of the clutch and onto the accelerator. You'll want to move into second pretty quickly if you've moved into a main road on the national speed limit.

I have also started doing roundabouts. Ominous and complicated, they are the current bain of my driving life. I can do U-turns, but anything else is still pretty difficult, just for heaven's sake use your mirrors and indicate!

That should be enough for now.

Roman

The Art of British

I am here to address with you today ladies and gentlemen a question that has been lingering with me for some time.. why the British car industry hasn't got its act together? This of course calls for a few paragraphs of sentimental gazing into the past that was a proud and well oiled British car industry.

Let's choose some highlights, I don't like the whole timeline thing... ehrr, the Rolls Royce Corniche. Quiet possibly the only convertible I would be happy to step into. This car first engrained its authority into my head when I watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, with Michael Caine pootling about in it in the South of France.

I recently saw a Bentley Mulliner Flying Spur, and it ferociously dragged my eyes over its panel beaten rear arches, leading in a smooth but strong crease to the front of the car. No other car in this modern age can do that. I can get excited when I see a Lamborghini Gallardo for example; but that's because one sees the sharp angular edges that define the air scoops, and the outlandish angles and surfaces. I know that it's a Lamborghini, and therefore know that it is good. What happened with the Bentley was different, it drew my eyes towards it. I did not know what it was, but I knew it was special. This is a car that does not get motor heads drooling over it, this is a car which the ladies of the Cote d'Azur swoon over. No modern car can do that, not even the latest Bentleys, which have lost their way, being the preserve of the football stars.

I have now come to the inevitable, the impossible black whole that sucks any article even remotely mentioning historic British cars into it. This dark void in space is of course the E-Type effect. Impossibly cool, retro in a non-cliched way, the Jaguar E-Type could never hit 150 mph, it probably leaves trails of carbon dioxide that would make a 4X4 look green, but my God, parked next to a shop window, seated in its armchairs, you will never have a cooler reflection. When you first see one, the first thing you'll notice is how small it is. You'll then realise just how special a car it is. The spoked wheels, the contoured bodywork with chrome detailing that is effective but not in your face, all make this a design ikon. It has been years before jaguar have managed to get that panache back into its models. It is of course the latest Jaguar XKR that has restored the link  between power and these Isles. Of course, that's not without a little help from Tata.

In fact, JLR as it is now known is owned not by Ford, but by the Indian Megabusiness. And here is the key to why Jaguar are starting to build world class cars again. Yes, our car industry needs backing by foreign companies, but it needs to be companies that are willing to act like a rich Father spoiling their children. Ford tried to impose its ideals onto Jaguar with disasterous effect. Take the X-Type for example. A horrible car for people who think Jaguar should be kept perpetually in the 1960s.

The only car companies that have managed to go it alone successfully are Caterham, Morgan and Lotus. These are companies with probably some of the best engineers in the world, and all they need is a caring adopter to sky rocket them into Ferrari territory.

Roman

Confessions of a Petrolhead

I feel it is time to share my reasons for why cars fill up most of my waking thoughts, as it is through one's own experiences and their environment that shapes the feelings and responses they get when they hear a yellow Ferrari 360 making it's unmistakeable baarp as it blips down a gear, before squatting close to its Pirellis and notch into hyperspeed. Personally, I make the noise a teenage girl makes after seeing Zac Efron pass them by on the street.

One of the earliest things I can remember as a young boy was being given a model of a Ferrari. I can't remember what model it was, probably an F40; but it had that Rosso Corsa paint job that links any ferrari I see now adorned in such a colour to a deep sentimentality enforced by my playing with this small toy car. Then I had a tiny green model of a Ferrari 308 GTB which I used to drift around obstacles on the carpet of my room, and for many years I wondered what the bumps at the front of the car were for. I now know they're lights big enough to light up the whole of the Monte Carlo rally.

I have always been able to draw well, and so instead of playing football, I'd pull out my The ultimate history of fast cars book and I would draw, and draw and draw. It was then that I realised what I would have to be when I was older, a car designer. Unfortunately, this was when the 'tuner' bug bit me (this is a condition that affects the majority of petrolheads, unfortunately, it hits most people when they are around 17 and so vandalise what terrible cars they have got with dodgy body kits, badly attached mesh, and poorly tuned exhausts. Fortunately this hit me when I was about 12, so I have had enough time to get over it). I used to be a frequent buyer of tuning magazines, and would dream of taking a standard mondeo, and dressing it up to look like the ST24. Oh happy days...

And then came Gran Turismo and consequently my deep love for Nissan Skylines. I have had a few interesting rides in cars (note: not drives), I have been in a TVR Carbera 4.2, which was a particularly brutal experience, with an engine so rooted to that of a race car's that it could charge to 60 mph in 3.9 seconds. Then there's the Nissan 350Z that was tuned to 500 bhp, and I happened to experience it on a wet track in a drifting challenge. And how could one not mention the Audi RS6...

So, that's why I love cars so much.

Roman

Geneva

It's that time of year again. Men are stumbling about looking rather dazed, they seem a little slow when you speak to them, and they all tend to start talking to themselves if they aren't in someone's company. It's called Shocked-at-unveiling-of-many-sexy-new-cars-at-Geneva-Motorshow-syndrome. I unfortunately have been suffering from this disease for the past week, I even got annoyed and started shouting at a picture of a model that was spoiling the view of the new Lamborghini Murcielago SV. Such is the volatile effect that this motorshow has on poor innocent men throughout the world.

So what are the salient points of the motor show? I hear you ask. Well, let's start with the aforementioned Lambo. This is essentially a beefed up, track ready version of the already track ready LP 640. Is it fast? Well, that's a stupid question. The car is the very definition of the word, which can also be defined by the Ferrari 599xx. I've got to feel sorry for the car though; the pathetic name can't truly muster up the sort of presence the car has. Ferrari has gone about improving the car in an altogether different way to that of Lamborghini though. In the Murcielago, the new bodykit has been tailor made to make the car look more like the Reventon, with abrupt angles and a huge spoiler. Ferrari on the other hand have used a more technical approach, using their racing knowledge to manufacture a car that is less style, but has substance poured all over it.

We now move onto the more luxurious, velvet clad side of the motorshow. That is to say, Aston Martin. Now, I could have a cold, but I think the reason I'm all hot and cold is because of what Aston has done to my senses. Y'see, we all knew that they were going to release the new One-77 out into the wild, and yes, when the fricking cover that had stayed half draped over it for the past couple of motorshows was finally removed, the car was a lot prettier than I had expected. £1 million pretty, No. But the real reason why I have been getting these shivers is because Aston have broken the golden rule of performance car makers. They've gone and made a 4X4; though, if you say to one of their marketing team that it's nothing more than a glorified Range Rover, they'd probably deck you.

So, I've talked about some of the highlights; it's now time time to look at the car who should be kept in the shadows. Let's start with a car that shows as much styling flair and finesse as Noel Edmonds; it is of course the Skoda Yeti. I'm finding it hard to decide which part of the car I should criticise most. Let's start with... oh I don't know? The name. What idiot in the boardroom splurted this drivel out, and what idiots all thought it was a good idea. Now, in general, I am a secret fan of Skodas. I like the fact that you can buy an Octavia vRS for several grand less than a Golf GTI, but Skoda have started to worry me with their new design direction. Which is basically getting a Skoda, and then tacking a great big moustache to the front of it. The rest of the car is devoid of character; even Ford had a go at making its soft-roader stylish with the Kuga.

Sigh, rant over. Bring on Geneva 2010.

Roman

Sold: to the geezer with the slick-back hair wearing a leather jacket

A trip back in time to the 1980s may only seem possible in a Delorean DMC-12  or the Tardis, however if you go down to Paddock Wood car auction house today, you'll be in for a big surprise. From the concrete buildings to the Caf where a healthy menu with options of a Full English or a plate of bacon, fried eggs, sausage, black pudding, mushrooms, beans and toast are available. I would recommend either meal with a bottle of their finest HP. It was while I ate my plat au cholestérol I realised we were surrounded by what could only be described as an Only Fools and Horses lookalike convention. These peculiar gentlemen did this for a living, they are the pilgrims of the car auctions huddled around clutching The Book of the motoring faith; The Glass's Guide to car valuation. 

Now to the cars. There were many beautiful Audi A4s up for sale. The one problem with car auctions is the risky business of only being able to inspect the outside. I apologise for another pun, but the prospective owners had their faces glued to windows like a scene from the film Shaun of the Dead, except this time there were no zombies, only Polish, Turkish and Chavs. 

You do get a few minutes to see if the car works whilst it is ferried to the auction shed. This gives the sensible people time to check for blown head gaskets, engine noises and bodies in the boot. Car auctions are a great opportunity for people to get a real bargain. However, since most people are keeping their old cars in the hope they'll be worth an extra 50p in six months time, the only real bargains were the damaged repairable cars. Auctioning your old car may seem a profitable option if you fit into one of the following categories: an Audi driving sales rep, a taxi driver or someone who likes to make illegal cut 'n shut vehicles in your spare time. 

So is it worth the effort making a journey to your nearest auction room to buy a car that you've only seen for five minutes? No. If only there was a way of auctioning using the internet so we wouldn't have to leave the comfort of our homes to purchase motorcars?

Franco

Car Design

Today, I feel it is time to talk a little bit more about design of cars. This is very relevant considering that the person who I respect most in the whole industry, Chris Bangle, has decided to jump ship for horizons new. This was the man who made me realise that normal cars could be works of art as much as any  Ferrari or Lamborghini is. He is of course, the head designer of BMW. Or he was, until a couple of weeks ago.

But before we delve into the genius of Bangle, lets look at what makes a great car design. To really visualise what I view a great car design to be, you have to think of the iPod. Yes, I know it's not a car, but every designer strives to make function as pure and simple as possible. That's what Jonathan Ive achieved when he designed the iPod. I want to achieve that same design feat with cars, but going about designing such a car is easier said than done.

Every car manufacturer has their own little quirks that set them apart form other manufacturers. Citroen has two chevrons that integrate into the grille design, whilst alfa romeo has the shield front that stands proudly from front of the car, and it is these influences to that pose a problem to the ultimate design of a car. Because the ultimate design of a car would not have these funny fripperies which would spoil the lines of the car.

Designing a car with no immediate tell tale  designs would of course be mad, because whatever company to try and sell it to, they would say, where's the thing that makes it unique to my brand. So, designers have to work with these constraints, so, as you can see, achieving perfect form and function is harder than it looks.

Which is where Chris Bangle steps in. Working with the two kidney grill design that is such a stalwart of BMW style, he managed to sculpt a design using his ground breaking flame surface style to create one of the most important cars of the 21st century, the utterly gorgeous 7 series (runs away from the barrage of angry comments). He moved on to restyle the rest of the BMW range, including the prettiest car for under £30k, the BMW Z4. Most importantly however, Bangle's ethos has always been about form and functionality. His 3 series design produces  a drag of 0.26 cD, which is phenomenally low for a saloon.

But alas, Bangle has gone from the automotive industry in order to persue different interests. Why, I do not know, but he will be sorely missed. Adrian van Hooydonk, you have high expectations on your shoulders now.

Roman

Engine + Turbo = Fun Fun Fun

After ten years of doom and gloom the 1.4 T-jet engine has put the Fun back in FIAT. The Bravo is to Fiat what the Focus is to Ford; an all round family car. Its wonderfully curvaceous rear adds elegance to your everyday traffic. Fiat have really worked hard making the diesel and small petrol engines in their range really environmentally friendly, which is nice but the thing everyone secretly craves is power. The best model is obviously the fastest and most powerful - the 1.4 T-Jet 150 sport. The science behind it shows that emissions can be cut by using smaller turbocharged instead of big heavy petrol drinking V6 engines.

The only downside is the engine name "T-Jet", the T stands for Turbocharged, which I feel Fiat are ashamed of. Iconic turbos include the Porsche 911, the Renault 5 Turbo, the Bentley Turbo and various Saab Turbo models. In the eighties and nineties car companies fitted turbochargers to all sorts of vehicles, it gave them huge amounts of power and made them go like feces off a shovel. At the time the word turbo turned into a household brand which subsequently lead to the overuse of the term; things like turbo whisks, and turbo irons and turbo blenders started to appear in every house. Alas, nowadays it is no longer acceptable to associate cars with their gas guzzling sports turbocharged ancestors. The car industry has prevented any association with the word turbo by disguising it as a T, but don't tell a soul - it might cause a drop in car sales.

Back to the Bravo, if you look very carefully you notice the subtle sporty features which include 17" alloys as standard (unlike like Roman's BMW 3 series), twin exhaust pipes and beautiful black leather with red stitched sport seats (a must have extra). Inside it has bluetooth handsfree, and a USB port for data communication between your stereo and your digital media device. The main bad point is the lack of leg room in the back; I suffer from the well known Italian shortness syndrome, but I didn't realise Fiat's target market are passengers who no longer require the usage of their legs (which can be easily removed if you move the front seats far back enough whilst the passengers sit in the rear). 

All of that aside, the best thing about the Bravo 1.4 T-jet is is the SPORT button: its the closed thing you'll get to maximum warp on the school run. You simply touch the throttle and after the short calm before the storm*, the steering becomes harder and you are propelled into what seems another dimension. Maybe that was a touch on the enthusiastic side but it does make a boring car journey to the shops seem really fun. If you don't have a family or just don't like the look of the Fiat bravo, more powerful, suped up versions of the 1.4 T-jet are available in the Abarth 500 SS and Alfa Romeo Mi.To.

Stars: 6

*The geeks among you will understand that this momentary pause is called turbo lag, which isn't supposed to be a good thing but its not a Nissan GTR so who cares.

Franco

Snow means.......

Rally driving! Well you you need a few things before you do attempt to recreate your own Rally of Finland in along your local snow ridden A roads. Only do this if you have all of the following items:

• A Finnish man
• A snowed over road with corners
• An rally car such as the Escort Mk 1:

Happy snow day

From Franco and Roman

The solution to congestion and other inconveniences

Nowadays the government and most people complain about congestion in our major cities caused by traffic. I went to London the other day by coach, and before you laugh and suggest that coach trips are for the older aged persons in society, I would like to state in my defense it was the cheapest option available. Sure I could have travelled by train which would have been much faster and better for the environment blah blah blah blah, but we are in a recession (its official) so i have every right to be stingy. Money matters aside, travelling by coach or bus is as entertaining as sitting on  a tumble dryer for two hours. Whilst on the coach I made many observations to pass the time; congestion is a major problem in London, so Boris and other celebrities with political powers, if you are reading maybe you could take some advice:

1. Bus lanes; these burgundy tarmacked areas take up valuable road space, and the only people using them are Buses and cyclists. Personally I think its a bit dangerous exposing cyclists to the toxic exhaust fumes and putting them at risk of being in a stated of dead if they get hit. Surely if people are to help the environment by giving up their cars, there should at least be a safer alternative.

2. Chelsea Tractors; I'm not going all eco-friendly, but you should all know by now they cause quite a bit of pollution and I believe they are the mechanical equivalent of standing next to a 25 stone man from Margate in the queue for KFC. Just like morbidly obese people, these cars take up a lot of space on the road, they "eat many petrols"*, and could probably cause considerable injuries if a pedestrian was hit by one travelling at 30mph. So why should we let these clinically obese cars travel to and from schools and around the town? 

I have in fact driven a Land Rover Discovery (OFF ROAD on private land), and it was mildly amusing therefore I am experienced-ish. Off-roaders used to be a term given to these machines, as the traction created by the four huge wheels driven at the same time by two axels enabled the car to go where no car had gone before; through deserts, mud, mountains and the countryside. Britain needs to banish Chelsea tractors from our cities, we must release the beasts back into the wild, where they will roam free once more amongst the mud, hills and sand dunes. My new 4x4 test for the future consists of 2 things, one four wheel driven vehicle and a race in the style of the Dakar Rally; if you successfully complete the gruelling course you can drive through populated ares at your will. On the other hand if you fail; your car will be banished to the deepest greenest countryside.

3. Scooters are very special to me. They reflect Italian social culture and are often parked side by side for half a mile in every Italian town. Each Italian scooter has its own uniqueness about it, from the "Doctor 46" decals to the upgraded cylinder heads and exhausts which squeeze the most out of those tiny hairdryer noised machines. In Italy scooters give youths a good balance of independence and driving skill. Its a shame Britain doesn't have the same view on scootering. I do recognise that most people consider them deathtraps, but they are a convenient way of cutting congestion in cities. Scooters of the future will run on electric and hybrid driven systems, and have the potential of being very popular on the condition they might sort out hazardous features such as the facial crumple zones. I know the Japanese make their electric wheelchair alternatives to scooters, but what I really want is another Vespa and Lambretta revolution for the 21st century without the lingering scent of two-stroke engine.  

4. Pelican crossings are a nightmare for all drivers, they cause huge queues at the most inconvenient of times, no matter where you live. Here's my theory: its not the machines that cause the traffic, its the smart alecs who push the button at the exact moment your car arrives at the lights. I do understand people need to cross roads, but zebra crossings work perfectly well. The frustrating ordeal of queuing for what seems a lifetime, and then finding that someone else wishes to cross the road by the time you get to the lights is just exasperating. Pelican crossings have their good points, they allow blind people to cross roads, which was until 1962 a virtual impossibility in Britain. 

I thank you for taking the time and effort in reading this post, if you did not get this far reading the post then you will never find out what the asterisk signifies.

*a quote by Piotr my Polish mechanic 

 

Franco

BMW 318d Review

I think it's very relevant that franco has posted a blog about his Alfa Romeo below, because I'm about to talk about the polar opposite of his car, the BMW 318d. Why? Because my Dad's just taken delivery of one as his new company car, of course! Now, there are expectations, and there's expectations. Expectations normally regarding a BMW is how well it drives, and how efficient it is; but the BMW went one further than that, it has totally flipped my whole view of cars on to its head. It's not really one specific area of the car that stands out, but in combination, it vanquishes all competition, and yes Franco, that includes your 156.

The moment I saw it, it was dark, the evening was setting, and light rippled over the contoured creases that makes up the shell of the car. With the doors unlocked, LEDs hidden underneath the door handles beamed out, bathing the doors in a bluish light. This was when I knew why a BMW carried certain expectations. The interior flows gracefully, a main arc of silver being the main aesthetic, echoing hints of Germany's Bauhaus past. The dash is uncluttered, and clearly laid out; even the lowliest luddite would be able to tune into radio 1 without a problem. Feeling cold, whilst the driver's in a sweat? No problem, thanks to the dual zone climate control. The biggest plus point of all though is that fact that it has an auxillary port. This headphone jack affair allows you to plug in your iPod (and other "leading" brands of MP3 players) into the car's stereo, so on an early morning listening isn't restricted to Chris Moyles. Hence, the reason why this is such a godsend.

Out on the road, this car comes into its own. I know I can't drive, but in the passenger seat I can definitely feel the G forces of the car, and how the run-flats cling on with monumental grip. Naturally, this being the face lifted BMW 3 series, (you can recognise it by the flame surfaced two front bonnet vertical power lines), and it being the SE version, this car has the 17" alloys which make all the difference to its forbear, which had to do with miserly 16"s. This must have been the one biggest complaint with the 3 series, and I am glad BMW have rectified it.

When the car does lose grip, it does so progressively, in an arc that is as controllable as that of an M3 on a computer game. Ok, so it has 140-odd horsepower, which isn't the most exciting amount, but the pleasure comes in maintaining what speed it has built up through the corners, making full use of its independent link suspension, and shod alloys.

I really can't justify the true greatness of its car, it is perfection. The lights are a particular favourite of mine, the front having the angel lights that give the look of the car an extra garnishing of technological superiority, and the back LED lights that glare out to other drivers, left eating dust in the wake of your hasty progression to some private party.

The bar has just been raised. Once again.

Stars: 10

Roman

Depriciation? Who makes up the rules?

Take a look at what I can only describe as a stunner. Designed by the great Walter de'Silva who is now in charge of design at V-Dub. The Alfa Romeo 156 offers the ultimate Italian thorough bred experience: style, speed and a harmonious engine note for a fraction of the price. Most of you sceptical people do not appreciate the soul, passion and sophistication an Alfa Romeo brings. Most people overlook the flawless styling with the reliability issues. 

I do admit there are some problems with Alfas, but non of which should be impossible to fix in the hands of a mechanic. However sometimes in Britain, it is the mechanic that is the problem. In my opinion it is (my honest opinion has been omitted from this part of the blog) which ruin Alfa's name. In Italy, your bog-standard mechanic can fix any marque, car, lorry,van or motorbike. Lets start at the beginning of the life of an Alfa, you buy it new or second hand for a price you believe is respective for a car in its league. If by a strike of misfortune you have some technical problem, you immediately take it to the trusted dealership to fix. They may spend many hours of your time, money and patience fixing the problem, but you could find (if you are very unlucky) it returns with the same problem. (my honest opinion has been omitted from this part of the blog) . The specialist tools that Alfa make specifically for their cars may prevent your local mechanic who's had forty/forty-five years repairing all sorts of automobiles from even taking off the plastic engine cover. In my opinion if you cannot fork out the money to buy some uniquely shaped screwdrivers and spanners and the original parts you might as well smash the car with a sledge hammer. 

I must admit Alfa Romeo's are born as works of art; throughout the ownership of an Alfa you are guaranteed to experience many contrasting emotions.

The Alfa has given my family some great memories, it drove us all the way to the south of Italy and back, which in itself is an achievement. I remember the first time I sat in the body hugging racing seats as we upped the revs as the tuneful exhaust note echoed through my ears; it was a world away from the cough and splutter of our diesel Fiat Tempra.  

The reality is that not all cars are valued on individuality, mileage, and specifications, some  are immediately slated because they are Alfa Romeos. During the space of around five years you loose almost all of the money you paid for the car my rust-bucket of a Fiat 500 is actually worth more than our 156! I feel that if Alfa Romeo offered the service and quality of their German counterparts, their cars would be worth a lot more in the long run. I also believe that Alfa can no longer put BMW prices on cars which have the mechanical specs of their FIAT siblings, they have the perfect designs, but need to develop unique platforms that are not found in your Average Giorgio's Fiat.

The future for Alfa Romeos must be with a bit more Vorsprung durch Technik.

Franco

Defacing a Mondeo

Now Europeans have been able to do pretty much everything better than other countries. We have a cultural heritage that America could not compete with, and another area in which we rule is cars. In America, it is deemed impressive if a car can do 20 mpg, whilst here, cars can do 70 mpg with a light foot. But that isn't where my argument really lies, it's more about how the poor people of America have had to put up with cars that look like European cars, that have just driven into a brick wall. The monstrosities that have come out of Ford's and GM's design room really beggars belief, but at least, they haven't made any of our nice European cars ugly in the pursuit to tempt car buyers to buy something economical. Until now.

Ford in America has finally come round to the fact that in Europe, Ford does things a bit (read: significantly) better, so they've essentially copied the Ford Mondeo. But one thing they haven't changed is good ol' American values. Which is of course, making things devoid of any curves. Out goes the sculpeted headlights, in comes in the rectangle ones. Liked the strong shoulder line of the mondeo? Gone. What Ford has done is reckless vandalism.

But alas, the styling of America is gradually leaking into the hearts of designers in europe. Take for example the brand new Toyota Avensis. An unappealing slab of silver boringness. The overly too big front with bulging headlights and oversized grill smacks of dullness, and this is from a company that used to pride itself on innovation.

My advice to Ferrari: DO NOT LET FOOTBALL PLAYERS BUY YOUR CARS

Nowadays football players are known for their infantile behaviour on and off the pitch. In my opinion I would not be happy selling a masterpiece of machinery to someone with the mental ability of an adolescent. All the hard work the guys back at Maranello did is in theory poured down the drain. It is true that footballers earn enough money a day to buy the whole of Wales, although I like to think of a Ferrari as a priceless object. You buy it because you know its the best a car can be; in terms of performance, beauty, and quality (I'm sure Ferrari like to state this as well). Ferrari has enough evidence to prove that footballers are not capable of driving their cars, such as Ian Wright, Kieron Dyer, and more recently Cristiano Ronaldo who crashed a £200,000 599 GTB . News reported that Ronaldo was unhurt, personally I was more worried about the car to be honest. 

RIPieces Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano 

Franco

Everything is going to change

At present, cars are grossly out of place with our future. Our future is one of empty underground oil wells, and years of soaring petrol and diesel prices. That is of course, unless we grow to accept a few fundamental changes to cars, the most apparent of these is the loss of the combustion engine.

Question is, what's going to replace that gaping hole in your engine bay? Every car manufacturer seems to have the answer, but how come they all have a different approach to solving this problem? Toyota was adamant that their Prius was the answer, but to me, a hybrid is just a stop gap to buy more time for Toyota to develop a proper 0 CO2 emission car. Honda on the other hand has taken their search for the clean emissions car of the future in a totally different direction indeed. They're using the most abundant gas in the world, hydrogen, to propel the FCX Clarity, and what's the emissions created? Water. Yep, no evil nasty gasses that'll kill the poor squirrels,and this is probably the future of cars for us. But not yet, oh no. like all things in life, there's a catch.

Hydrogen may be very common, but it loves to pair up with other atoms to form molecules. It's very hard to separate it into it's normal state. So, we need to use huge amounts of energy to pry Hydrogen atoms away from oxygen atoms to get to the hydrogen. So, for the moment at least, hydrogen cars are more wasteful than normal cars. When the hydrogen extraction process is made less energy demanding, then it will no doubt be the next form of car propulsion.

My favourite idea is a bit like what Tesla, the electric Roadster company has in mind. The cars they build are totally electric, and can be charged through the mains. I believe the way to get a truly 0 CO2 emissions car is to charge cars like this using energy produced by wind turbines or hydroelectric stations.

Roman