Chinese plans to build new Morris Marina with ultra-strong roof

A leaked sketch from a business plan by a Chinese product design entrepreneur who aims to build reinforced vehicle roofs from carbon composite materials uses Top Gear as inspiration and hints at a new Morris Marina. The entrepreneur who's name translates as "Glorious Mountain Blossom" in English has taken a rethink to car design by "creating a futuristic approach to the structural components of the roof layout in order to prevent serious injuries in the event of the most major accidents". In an interview with Chinese press yesterday he talked of his inspiration from the piano dropping antics of BBC's Top Gear program"Seeing the act of dropping a Piano on that classic car inspired me to approach car manufacturers to use my carbon composite roof designs on future vehicles of a similar size and style. The family car market is very important to modern Chinese people, and a family car which is strong and reliable will be essential to the drivers of the future." We think he's lost the plot, as from our recollection, (well the internet's in fact) the Morris Marina was neither strong, reliable or popular.

From what we have understood, it looks like Glorious Mountain Blossom plans to start production with a partnership with a major Chinese car manufacturer to fit his ultra-strong roof on his Morris Marina styled "vehicle of tomorrow" in the next few year. He said "I hope China to be a world leader in vehicle roof safety by 2015". The major Chinese car manufacturer has yet to come forward with detailed designs of the new Marina but the vague sketch shows some similarities to the British Leyland classic.

An outing with the Cinq

Well, I have finally managed to experience Franco's driving, first hand. Which means that I can not only review his car (the Fiat Cinquecento), but also his *ahem* skill as a driver. I'll warm up by starting with the car...

Walking along the school road, I had trouble spotting the vehicle, due to its miniscule stature. Having found it, the first thing that hit me was the question: How am I going to get in it?

Quite easily actually, with the interior being spacious with generous views out of the windows. This is due to a certain emptiness in the cabin; hell, there isn't even a proper dashboard! This is good though, as in a case of an accident, you travel through more air before hitting the windscreen. This safety feature should be standard in all cars.

Not that this car will be having any accidents, for its pilot, Franco, takes driving very seriously. Having put on his driving glasses (which, by the way Franco, exude Italian Flair), we pull out onto the road. The feeling is odd to say the least. Panoramic vision means that it feels more like a convertible than a tiny hatchback. Furthermore, the ride is actually quite good.

When Franco finally decides to slow down for the speed bump, the little Cinq copes admirably, not bottoming out or complaining at all (unlike some of our peers' cars). Out onto more open road, Franco lets rip on the accelerator, because, well, he has to. With a 0.9 litre engine doing the legwork, thrashing the life out of the thing is a prerequisite. Saying that, it picked up quickly, and never seemed lethargic around town.

A couple of minutes into the ride, I spot something not quite right about the Cinq. Now, we all know that speedometers are not very accurate, but this car is something else. The needle never really makes its mind up about what speed we are travelling at, so it jitters up and down within a range of about 5mph compared to our actual speed. Naturally, this caused me to have many a Lulz.

Anyway, by now, we're on the dual carriage way, and well, it's fine. I don't feel any sluggish performance at all, but I did have a sneaking suspicion that Franco had his right foot firmly plastered to those new car mats of his. This doesn't mean we broke the speed limit, far from it in fact.

What was bothering the car a little bit was the wind. The car having the "aerodynamics of a brick" (your words, not mine Franco), means that on open parts of road, a strong gust requires paying careful attention to the steering. Thankfully, we survive the dual carriage way and it's back to school. Doing this involves going over a particularly tight roundabout that feeds traffic back into the town. The tightness of the exit path highlighted one of the Cinq's weaknesses: cornering, or, more specifically, how its suspension copes with lateral g-forces. Which is to say, not very well. I honestly thought the car was going to tip, and I said certain things that alluded to my fear during this situation. Franco wasn't at all alarmed by this, having grown used to this leaning tendency, but hey! At least it soaks up those speedbumps and potholes nicely.

Now, this is a small car. Very small in fact, but even small cars now have power steering, except, well, this car. Parallel parking it seemed to demand a huge effort from Franco to quickly turn the steering wheel (just try to see it this way Franco, at least you'll have the arms of a body builder after a couple of years). I recall struggling to snap the wheel from one full lock to another on a power steering vehicle, so my hat goes off to Franco for managing to park the Cinq in the short time he did.

A few more things I should mention about Franco's ride: I'm pretty sure it used to be red, which, after many, many, many, many years of weather-related abuse, has made it slightly faded. I view this as a unique differentiator from other cars; it even has an interesting pattern on the bonnet. No doubt one day, Franco will allow me to paint a Fresco on the outside of it.

Franco has also told me that he has to accelerate when he starts the car up, to allow for the valves to adjust. This is very much a car that has to be driven by someone who knows what they're doing, and doesn't mind the odd little quirk, like a petrol cap that doesn't really do its job. In all fairness though, all my comments have to be put into perspective by looking at how much Franco paid for the Cinq: £220.

Ok, you can pick your jaw up from the floor now. Yep, he has a fully functioning car for the price of an iPod (or, oh I don't know... a Puss3?). Granted, it originally had a handbrake that was operating at 7% of its capacity, which had to be fixed, but still, what a bargain! Plus, he's managed to get insurance for about £1000, which for a bloke is a miracle.

Fiat Cinquecento - 9/10 A cheap runabout that just gets on with the job.

Franco - 10/10 For putting up with the Cinq's quirks, and that awful non-power steering.

HiFi, in a car?

In the HiFi world, there are nutcases out there called audiophiles. I happen to be one of them, and until recently, we haven’t been able to experience music playback in cars at anything like the levels we expect in the comfort of our own living rooms. Car stereos have, however, been around for just about ever. In 1956, Chrysler vehicles had the option of having an LP player built into the dashboard. Then tapes came along, and with it, a new subculture of modified sound systems.

This following is going strong today, but it isn’t without its problems. Basically, the main issue is how these sound products are targeted. It’s an inescapable truth that most people who modify their mobile audio are young men, so companies target them by quoting outrageous wattage amounts and making the drive units look ridiculous. First, the wattage issue: I cannot, and will not believe that something like a 10 cm midrange driver could handle 100-200 watts; most of the time, it turns out these quotes are for peak power spikes. Normally, the average wattage of a 10cm driver would be more like 30 watts. Secondly, the components themselves: by putting ugly plastic covers over drivers, and amplifiers in garish boxes, speaker manufacturers hit their target market square on. No real effort is ever put into the sound quality, because the target market doesn’t care what it sounds like, just as long as it’s loud enough to wake up half the street.

This puts people who do want good sound quality in a bit of a mire, that is, until recently. A whole new generation of speaker systems have flooded the market, and who is leading the charge? HiFi manufacturers. These guys have taken all their values and injected their philosophy into a car environment. Ok, so there aren’t any kits you can go out and buy and install in your own car; instead, HiFi manufacturers have worked closely with car makers to tailor car interiors to get the best acoustic refinement from it.

So, what brands are doing this: Volkswagen, and it’s partnership with Dynaudio. Audi and Bang & Olufsen, who also works with Aston Martin and AMG. Jaguar and Bowers and Wilkins. Bentley and Naim, and a whole slew of other companies… and no, BOSE is not one of them *Runs away from Franco*.

A special mention has to be made for the Bang & Olufsen systems. They feature tweeters (the driver units that cover the high frequency range of the audio spectrum) that rise out of the dashboard, showing the driver unit facing up. A reflector above it then disperses the sound around the car. This makes for a more airy, natural presentation than most in car speaker systems that can be very in your face.

It is a well known fact around First Gear supporters that Franco and I have not yet passed our driving tests, so I reckon testing these sound systems are ideal for us. We don’t have to drive it, just listen to the music in a dealership. So, Ferrari? Lamborghini? Any chance of a test listen?

Roman

Motor racing started in a supermarket

We all know the source of all things is the supermarket. If you ask any child where their fruit and veg comes from, they'll reply Tesco. This is very amusing, but I'm not here to have a rant about that, I'm here to talk about the vehicle used to transport your food travels from its natural habitat: the shelf, to the checkout. Pushing the trolley around the supermarket must surely be the start of every rally driver, touring car racer and most ordinary people's dreams of driving.

There are so many different forms of motorsport which could adapted to trolleys. Lets start with the simplest of them all; drag racing, I'm sure at some point you've found a perfect empty aisle taken a monumental run up, then jumped onto the wheels to experience exhilarating faster than walking speeds. More experienced trolley racers will be able to control a trolley with heavier load of shopping, simple things like turning corners and stopping become more a lot more difficult, controlling the natural oversteer is a skill mastered after numerous trips to the shops. Some of the wannabe Ken Blocks take advantage of the oversteer and drift around between the aisles narrowly missing the shelves. To make the most of this new motor-less sport, find yourself some mates, or challenge rival shoppers in true Fast and Furious style, and map out a route from the entrance to the checkout. If you want to raise the stakes, why not race for pink slips by betting on your shopping.

As with all forms of motor-less sport, trolley racing comes with its dangers; beware of the metal tins of chocolates or bottles of beer usually stacked up in a blind spot between the aisles, you could cause some serious damage to yourself. Always begin with a trolley loads you can handle; too light and you might pull some wheelies, too heavy and you'll loose control and end up in the reduced items bin. Remember there are hazards such as old people hogging the aisles, or people in coloured uniforms pushing really big trolleys at horrendously slow speeds, so be prepared to stop quite hard. Last of all you will almost certainly be on CCTV, so if you are really nice to the race marshals (or security guards as they are normally known) they might let you keep the video.

Good luck!

Jaguar XJ

Jaguar XJ's have been in familiar guises for around several millenia, the only major thing changing on them being the shades of beige available on the seats. A few years ago, things started to get despirate. Jaguar was sent reeling from game changing designs like the E65 BMW 7-series, and the Mercedes S-class made the Jag XJ look like a Mahogany wardrobe on wheels, which is what it was. Then a savior-like figure started to make an impact on Jaguar, the name of that man was Ian Callum.

In 2006, he set the foundations for a whole new design bearing for Jaguars with the new XK, but wasn't until 2008 when the XF was released that one could really imagine what the next XJ would be like. The XF broke away from the incessant pandering to foreign markets who believed that a Jaguar should look good outside a country mansion; on the contrary, an XFR would positively disturb the old fashioned chic of a Devon Country House. The chrome air intakes alone would scare away foxes and other such cannon fodder for landed gentry.

This doesn't mean however that Mr Callum stuck the XF blueprints in the photocoppier and set it to 125% enlarge to design the new XJ. Oh no no, not at all... we need to look at the C-FX from 2007 to see where his inspiration has come from. When the XF came out, people were very angry (and rightly so) that it sported a sort of inflated, out of proportion representation of the C-FX's headlights. Thankfully the XJ has rectified it, sporting a focused front end that finally, and mercifully, does away with the dual lights of old.

For some reason, unknown to me, manufacturers have started to put large, prominent grilles on their flagship vehicle. Most recent evidence of this is the new BMW 7-series that has abnormally large kidney grilles standing proud of the headlights. Jaguar have seemed to adopt this same effect, which at some angles, namely at a 3/4 front view, make it look a little bloated. In fact, this car is somewhat of a phallic symbol; the size of V8s don't matter now, it's all about how big it's grille is.

The back of the car is more disappointing, not displaying the sort of taut rear end I was hoping for (rawr). Instead, the XF seems to have a curvy version of the Lancia Thesis' backside, which, unfortunately, doesn't gel with the front of the car. Little could be said of the side profile either, though the window frames give the car a much more organic look compared to a Germanic creation.

Aforementioned foibles quickly vaporise the moment one looks at the interior. Never, ever have I seen such a welcoming interior, with a peerless design. The closest thing I can get to describing it is that of a Riva yacht, mixed with a Sunseeker, it is that different. There is

an arc that curves from the door sills along the dashboard, which smacks of a V8

powerboat, not a car. It is of course conditional; the colour options are critical to getting the interior to look its best: the leather needs to be Parchment Semi Aniline with an upper fascia that is Bordeaux tipped with embossing, the headliner being Parchment as well. Match that with satin Zebrano, and quite possibly the most exquisite interior is made. Manly LEDs light up the instruments and various switchgear that act as expensive trinketry, all of which carefully skirt around the brash or uncouth side of the design spectrum.

This is a monumental leap forward for the Jaguar XJ, with a design that slots neatly into the 21st century, instead of sitting awkwardly like the old one. There are a few things to remember though: always approach the car head on, that's where it looks the best. Don't buy it in green, or there is a chance the justice police will convict you of crimes against design. Thirdly, only get the interior in the aforementioned colour scheme. Oh, and get the supercharged V8.

Roman

Learning to Drive: Clutch bite and roundabouts

Ok well it's been a while since I last posted, so I think it's a good time to talk about how far I've come with my driving lessons. Now, the clutch on a manual (or stick shift.. yuk!) is something that to me, is an arcane and somewhat cantankerous piece of engineering that should have been engineered out of existence about 50 years ago. So why is it still here, in this age of the anodised aluminium unibody Macbook Pros and high definition OLED televisions? It all comes down to the E word... the Environment.

The majority of automatic gearboxes produce more carbon dioxide than the equivalent manual variant. This is of course forgetting the magic DSG gearboxes that have two clutches, but they cost many monies. The reason (non double clutch) automatics haven't found their way into all cars is because they can sap the power of the engine, making the 0-60 time higher. Also, automatics aren't as efficient at handling the engine's power, so economy drops too. Basically, automatics should be avoided if possible (except the Jaguar XKR's ZF box).

So, unless you are very lazy or otherwise impaired, I'd suggest you learn manual. Well, atleast, that was my view until I started driving. It has taken weeks and weeks and weeks before finally managing to get the car moving off without it grumbling horribly. If you haven't driven, you probably won't know what clutch bite is, also, if you are a fairly experienced driver you too probably also don't know what I'm on about, since your foot automatically finds it out of muscle memory. It is that point in the clutch's travel where moving it any further would initiate the much enjoyed pastime of driving.

Clutch bite is a bit of a pain when you have to consciously think about it, and it can become nigh on impossible to find it quickly if you grip the wheel too tight. My previous lesson was all about junctions on a gradient, so for example when pulling out into a main road from a side road on a hill. This requires finding the clutch bite so that the car doesn't roll back. You'd think pressing the foot brake would suffice, but once you get your foot on that pedal, it's going to be really hard to re-find the clutch bite and move over to accelerator when you see a gap.

I am also working on my roundabout skills. These hideous creations still scare me, and I think the hardest part is spotting when it is safe to pull out, and having to make the decision as to whether or not one can pull out. It can be very tricky especially when cars don't indicate.

Roman

Learning to Drive

Learning to drive is something that has been a very long time coming for me, for 17 years (and 9 months if you want to be pedantic) I have been waiting to get behind the wheel of a car and be in control of it. Now that that time has come, I have since had a few lessons, and I feel it is a good time to give you all a rundown of my experiences.

I have been unfortunate enough to get lulled into a false sense of security formed by the continuos playing of Gran Turismo. These are the best games ever made, forget chess and Halo 3, there is nothing more satisfying than beating your best time 'round the Nurburgring in a Golf GTi. However, driving a real car in the real world is literally nothing like playing a slightly outdated but still much loved Gran Turismo 4 game. The first thing that will get you is trying to get into the drivers seat, it is an alien experience. Having stepped into the near side seat for so long, getting into the drvers seat is still a clumsy eperience for me. For some reason there's a steering wheel in my way which I have to negotiate past, and my left leg is unsure of itself, having always relied on the right leg stepping in first.

This is nothing, I repeat nothing compared to the shock you're going to get next. You have to turn to your right to get the seatbelt! Doing the little, subtle and deft shift to the left that allows one to see the seatbelt and therefore grab it was an art which I had mastered over the years, and now I have to go to the right! This is a cruel world I admit, but this is just mean. Here's where things get complicated. Your instructor will tell you to do various things, and you will soon be moving. And, and you've stalled... ok, don't panic. Clutch down, select neutral, restart the car, push down the clutch and go into first. This is the common pitfall with every driver, I tend to stall when I'm doing too many things at once, but as they say, practice makes perfect.

When you're up and running for your first time driving, changing gear will feel like the hardest thing in the world. When I changed gear the first few times, I'd make a hash of it; either letting go of the clutch too quickly, or not balancing the accelerator and the clutch well. As you do this more often, you will start to know what to do. Things gradually become more automatic.

Sooner or later you will approach something called a corner. These are rare, exotic things only really found in Europe, and this is where the great big round thing in front of you comes into play. Turn it to the right, and the car will move right, and well, you get the picture. The thing that you have to learn when steering is that you only need so much of it, depending on your speed and the severity of the corner. This seems obvious, but it will be tricky the first few times. Using the D-pad on a PS2 controller will give you full steering left or full steering right, so nevigating a corner in a game requires pressing the left or right button several times. In a real car, this is not the case. Steering is a smooth, fluid action, which prevents your passengers/driving instructor from vomiting over you.

Some corners are at such an angle that the A pillars will severly inhibit your view of the road. When I first experienced this, I was shocked and awed that after all this time cars have been on the road, not a single manufacturer has successfully brought an end to this problem. The solution is to of course try and look past the pillars, which requires some peering past them. It's not an ideal arrangement, and one which I hope to fix when I design cars.

Of what little reversing I have done, I can tell you that is is horrible and difficult. But then again I haven't done much of it and so I am very inexperienced with it. Junctions are what I am currently practising, and it takes an awful lot of multitasking. You have to start braking, and then the engine starts to grumble, clutch down, all the while looking left and right, palming into first. Use the clutch bite to crawl up to the dashed line, and if all is clear, let go of the clutch and onto the accelerator. You'll want to move into second pretty quickly if you've moved into a main road on the national speed limit.

I have also started doing roundabouts. Ominous and complicated, they are the current bain of my driving life. I can do U-turns, but anything else is still pretty difficult, just for heaven's sake use your mirrors and indicate!

That should be enough for now.

Roman