Jaguar XJ

Jaguar XJ's have been in familiar guises for around several millenia, the only major thing changing on them being the shades of beige available on the seats. A few years ago, things started to get despirate. Jaguar was sent reeling from game changing designs like the E65 BMW 7-series, and the Mercedes S-class made the Jag XJ look like a Mahogany wardrobe on wheels, which is what it was. Then a savior-like figure started to make an impact on Jaguar, the name of that man was Ian Callum.

In 2006, he set the foundations for a whole new design bearing for Jaguars with the new XK, but wasn't until 2008 when the XF was released that one could really imagine what the next XJ would be like. The XF broke away from the incessant pandering to foreign markets who believed that a Jaguar should look good outside a country mansion; on the contrary, an XFR would positively disturb the old fashioned chic of a Devon Country House. The chrome air intakes alone would scare away foxes and other such cannon fodder for landed gentry.

This doesn't mean however that Mr Callum stuck the XF blueprints in the photocoppier and set it to 125% enlarge to design the new XJ. Oh no no, not at all... we need to look at the C-FX from 2007 to see where his inspiration has come from. When the XF came out, people were very angry (and rightly so) that it sported a sort of inflated, out of proportion representation of the C-FX's headlights. Thankfully the XJ has rectified it, sporting a focused front end that finally, and mercifully, does away with the dual lights of old.

For some reason, unknown to me, manufacturers have started to put large, prominent grilles on their flagship vehicle. Most recent evidence of this is the new BMW 7-series that has abnormally large kidney grilles standing proud of the headlights. Jaguar have seemed to adopt this same effect, which at some angles, namely at a 3/4 front view, make it look a little bloated. In fact, this car is somewhat of a phallic symbol; the size of V8s don't matter now, it's all about how big it's grille is.

The back of the car is more disappointing, not displaying the sort of taut rear end I was hoping for (rawr). Instead, the XF seems to have a curvy version of the Lancia Thesis' backside, which, unfortunately, doesn't gel with the front of the car. Little could be said of the side profile either, though the window frames give the car a much more organic look compared to a Germanic creation.

Aforementioned foibles quickly vaporise the moment one looks at the interior. Never, ever have I seen such a welcoming interior, with a peerless design. The closest thing I can get to describing it is that of a Riva yacht, mixed with a Sunseeker, it is that different. There is

an arc that curves from the door sills along the dashboard, which smacks of a V8

powerboat, not a car. It is of course conditional; the colour options are critical to getting the interior to look its best: the leather needs to be Parchment Semi Aniline with an upper fascia that is Bordeaux tipped with embossing, the headliner being Parchment as well. Match that with satin Zebrano, and quite possibly the most exquisite interior is made. Manly LEDs light up the instruments and various switchgear that act as expensive trinketry, all of which carefully skirt around the brash or uncouth side of the design spectrum.

This is a monumental leap forward for the Jaguar XJ, with a design that slots neatly into the 21st century, instead of sitting awkwardly like the old one. There are a few things to remember though: always approach the car head on, that's where it looks the best. Don't buy it in green, or there is a chance the justice police will convict you of crimes against design. Thirdly, only get the interior in the aforementioned colour scheme. Oh, and get the supercharged V8.

Roman

Learning to Drive: Clutch bite and roundabouts

Ok well it's been a while since I last posted, so I think it's a good time to talk about how far I've come with my driving lessons. Now, the clutch on a manual (or stick shift.. yuk!) is something that to me, is an arcane and somewhat cantankerous piece of engineering that should have been engineered out of existence about 50 years ago. So why is it still here, in this age of the anodised aluminium unibody Macbook Pros and high definition OLED televisions? It all comes down to the E word... the Environment.

The majority of automatic gearboxes produce more carbon dioxide than the equivalent manual variant. This is of course forgetting the magic DSG gearboxes that have two clutches, but they cost many monies. The reason (non double clutch) automatics haven't found their way into all cars is because they can sap the power of the engine, making the 0-60 time higher. Also, automatics aren't as efficient at handling the engine's power, so economy drops too. Basically, automatics should be avoided if possible (except the Jaguar XKR's ZF box).

So, unless you are very lazy or otherwise impaired, I'd suggest you learn manual. Well, atleast, that was my view until I started driving. It has taken weeks and weeks and weeks before finally managing to get the car moving off without it grumbling horribly. If you haven't driven, you probably won't know what clutch bite is, also, if you are a fairly experienced driver you too probably also don't know what I'm on about, since your foot automatically finds it out of muscle memory. It is that point in the clutch's travel where moving it any further would initiate the much enjoyed pastime of driving.

Clutch bite is a bit of a pain when you have to consciously think about it, and it can become nigh on impossible to find it quickly if you grip the wheel too tight. My previous lesson was all about junctions on a gradient, so for example when pulling out into a main road from a side road on a hill. This requires finding the clutch bite so that the car doesn't roll back. You'd think pressing the foot brake would suffice, but once you get your foot on that pedal, it's going to be really hard to re-find the clutch bite and move over to accelerator when you see a gap.

I am also working on my roundabout skills. These hideous creations still scare me, and I think the hardest part is spotting when it is safe to pull out, and having to make the decision as to whether or not one can pull out. It can be very tricky especially when cars don't indicate.

Roman