1. Bus lanes; these burgundy tarmacked areas take up valuable road space, and the only people using them are Buses and cyclists. Personally I think its a bit dangerous exposing cyclists to the toxic exhaust fumes and putting them at risk of being in a stated of dead if they get hit. Surely if people are to help the environment by giving up their cars, there should at least be a safer alternative.
2. Chelsea Tractors; I'm not going all eco-friendly, but you should all know by now they cause quite a bit of pollution and I believe they are the mechanical equivalent of standing next to a 25 stone man from Margate in the queue for KFC. Just like morbidly obese people, these cars take up a lot of space on the road, they "eat many petrols"*, and could probably cause considerable injuries if a pedestrian was hit by one travelling at 30mph. So why should we let these clinically obese cars travel to and from schools and around the town?
I have in fact driven a Land Rover Discovery (OFF ROAD on private land), and it was mildly amusing therefore I am experienced-ish. Off-roaders used to be a term given to these machines, as the traction created by the four huge wheels driven at the same time by two axels enabled the car to go where no car had gone before; through deserts, mud, mountains and the countryside. Britain needs to banish Chelsea tractors from our cities, we must release the beasts back into the wild, where they will roam free once more amongst the mud, hills and sand dunes. My new 4x4 test for the future consists of 2 things, one four wheel driven vehicle and a race in the style of the Dakar Rally; if you successfully complete the gruelling course you can drive through populated ares at your will. On the other hand if you fail; your car will be banished to the deepest greenest countryside.
3. Scooters are very special to me. They reflect Italian social culture and are often parked side by side for half a mile in every Italian town. Each Italian scooter has its own uniqueness about it, from the "Doctor 46" decals to the upgraded cylinder heads and exhausts which squeeze the most out of those tiny hairdryer noised machines. In Italy scooters give youths a good balance of independence and driving skill. Its a shame Britain doesn't have the same view on scootering. I do recognise that most people consider them deathtraps, but they are a convenient way of cutting congestion in cities. Scooters of the future will run on electric and hybrid driven systems, and have the potential of being very popular on the condition they might sort out hazardous features such as the facial crumple zones. I know the Japanese make their electric wheelchair alternatives to scooters, but what I really want is another Vespa and Lambretta revolution for the 21st century without the lingering scent of two-stroke engine.
4. Pelican crossings are a nightmare for all drivers, they cause huge queues at the most inconvenient of times, no matter where you live. Here's my theory: its not the machines that cause the traffic, its the smart alecs who push the button at the exact moment your car arrives at the lights. I do understand people need to cross roads, but zebra crossings work perfectly well. The frustrating ordeal of queuing for what seems a lifetime, and then finding that someone else wishes to cross the road by the time you get to the lights is just exasperating. Pelican crossings have their good points, they allow blind people to cross roads, which was until 1962 a virtual impossibility in Britain.
I thank you for taking the time and effort in reading this post, if you did not get this far reading the post then you will never find out what the asterisk signifies.
*a quote by Piotr my Polish mechanic
Franco
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