Geneva

It's that time of year again. Men are stumbling about looking rather dazed, they seem a little slow when you speak to them, and they all tend to start talking to themselves if they aren't in someone's company. It's called Shocked-at-unveiling-of-many-sexy-new-cars-at-Geneva-Motorshow-syndrome. I unfortunately have been suffering from this disease for the past week, I even got annoyed and started shouting at a picture of a model that was spoiling the view of the new Lamborghini Murcielago SV. Such is the volatile effect that this motorshow has on poor innocent men throughout the world.

So what are the salient points of the motor show? I hear you ask. Well, let's start with the aforementioned Lambo. This is essentially a beefed up, track ready version of the already track ready LP 640. Is it fast? Well, that's a stupid question. The car is the very definition of the word, which can also be defined by the Ferrari 599xx. I've got to feel sorry for the car though; the pathetic name can't truly muster up the sort of presence the car has. Ferrari has gone about improving the car in an altogether different way to that of Lamborghini though. In the Murcielago, the new bodykit has been tailor made to make the car look more like the Reventon, with abrupt angles and a huge spoiler. Ferrari on the other hand have used a more technical approach, using their racing knowledge to manufacture a car that is less style, but has substance poured all over it.

We now move onto the more luxurious, velvet clad side of the motorshow. That is to say, Aston Martin. Now, I could have a cold, but I think the reason I'm all hot and cold is because of what Aston has done to my senses. Y'see, we all knew that they were going to release the new One-77 out into the wild, and yes, when the fricking cover that had stayed half draped over it for the past couple of motorshows was finally removed, the car was a lot prettier than I had expected. £1 million pretty, No. But the real reason why I have been getting these shivers is because Aston have broken the golden rule of performance car makers. They've gone and made a 4X4; though, if you say to one of their marketing team that it's nothing more than a glorified Range Rover, they'd probably deck you.

So, I've talked about some of the highlights; it's now time time to look at the car who should be kept in the shadows. Let's start with a car that shows as much styling flair and finesse as Noel Edmonds; it is of course the Skoda Yeti. I'm finding it hard to decide which part of the car I should criticise most. Let's start with... oh I don't know? The name. What idiot in the boardroom splurted this drivel out, and what idiots all thought it was a good idea. Now, in general, I am a secret fan of Skodas. I like the fact that you can buy an Octavia vRS for several grand less than a Golf GTI, but Skoda have started to worry me with their new design direction. Which is basically getting a Skoda, and then tacking a great big moustache to the front of it. The rest of the car is devoid of character; even Ford had a go at making its soft-roader stylish with the Kuga.

Sigh, rant over. Bring on Geneva 2010.

Roman