The solution to congestion and other inconveniences

Nowadays the government and most people complain about congestion in our major cities caused by traffic. I went to London the other day by coach, and before you laugh and suggest that coach trips are for the older aged persons in society, I would like to state in my defense it was the cheapest option available. Sure I could have travelled by train which would have been much faster and better for the environment blah blah blah blah, but we are in a recession (its official) so i have every right to be stingy. Money matters aside, travelling by coach or bus is as entertaining as sitting on  a tumble dryer for two hours. Whilst on the coach I made many observations to pass the time; congestion is a major problem in London, so Boris and other celebrities with political powers, if you are reading maybe you could take some advice:

1. Bus lanes; these burgundy tarmacked areas take up valuable road space, and the only people using them are Buses and cyclists. Personally I think its a bit dangerous exposing cyclists to the toxic exhaust fumes and putting them at risk of being in a stated of dead if they get hit. Surely if people are to help the environment by giving up their cars, there should at least be a safer alternative.

2. Chelsea Tractors; I'm not going all eco-friendly, but you should all know by now they cause quite a bit of pollution and I believe they are the mechanical equivalent of standing next to a 25 stone man from Margate in the queue for KFC. Just like morbidly obese people, these cars take up a lot of space on the road, they "eat many petrols"*, and could probably cause considerable injuries if a pedestrian was hit by one travelling at 30mph. So why should we let these clinically obese cars travel to and from schools and around the town? 

I have in fact driven a Land Rover Discovery (OFF ROAD on private land), and it was mildly amusing therefore I am experienced-ish. Off-roaders used to be a term given to these machines, as the traction created by the four huge wheels driven at the same time by two axels enabled the car to go where no car had gone before; through deserts, mud, mountains and the countryside. Britain needs to banish Chelsea tractors from our cities, we must release the beasts back into the wild, where they will roam free once more amongst the mud, hills and sand dunes. My new 4x4 test for the future consists of 2 things, one four wheel driven vehicle and a race in the style of the Dakar Rally; if you successfully complete the gruelling course you can drive through populated ares at your will. On the other hand if you fail; your car will be banished to the deepest greenest countryside.

3. Scooters are very special to me. They reflect Italian social culture and are often parked side by side for half a mile in every Italian town. Each Italian scooter has its own uniqueness about it, from the "Doctor 46" decals to the upgraded cylinder heads and exhausts which squeeze the most out of those tiny hairdryer noised machines. In Italy scooters give youths a good balance of independence and driving skill. Its a shame Britain doesn't have the same view on scootering. I do recognise that most people consider them deathtraps, but they are a convenient way of cutting congestion in cities. Scooters of the future will run on electric and hybrid driven systems, and have the potential of being very popular on the condition they might sort out hazardous features such as the facial crumple zones. I know the Japanese make their electric wheelchair alternatives to scooters, but what I really want is another Vespa and Lambretta revolution for the 21st century without the lingering scent of two-stroke engine.  

4. Pelican crossings are a nightmare for all drivers, they cause huge queues at the most inconvenient of times, no matter where you live. Here's my theory: its not the machines that cause the traffic, its the smart alecs who push the button at the exact moment your car arrives at the lights. I do understand people need to cross roads, but zebra crossings work perfectly well. The frustrating ordeal of queuing for what seems a lifetime, and then finding that someone else wishes to cross the road by the time you get to the lights is just exasperating. Pelican crossings have their good points, they allow blind people to cross roads, which was until 1962 a virtual impossibility in Britain. 

I thank you for taking the time and effort in reading this post, if you did not get this far reading the post then you will never find out what the asterisk signifies.

*a quote by Piotr my Polish mechanic 

 

Franco

BMW 318d Review

I think it's very relevant that franco has posted a blog about his Alfa Romeo below, because I'm about to talk about the polar opposite of his car, the BMW 318d. Why? Because my Dad's just taken delivery of one as his new company car, of course! Now, there are expectations, and there's expectations. Expectations normally regarding a BMW is how well it drives, and how efficient it is; but the BMW went one further than that, it has totally flipped my whole view of cars on to its head. It's not really one specific area of the car that stands out, but in combination, it vanquishes all competition, and yes Franco, that includes your 156.

The moment I saw it, it was dark, the evening was setting, and light rippled over the contoured creases that makes up the shell of the car. With the doors unlocked, LEDs hidden underneath the door handles beamed out, bathing the doors in a bluish light. This was when I knew why a BMW carried certain expectations. The interior flows gracefully, a main arc of silver being the main aesthetic, echoing hints of Germany's Bauhaus past. The dash is uncluttered, and clearly laid out; even the lowliest luddite would be able to tune into radio 1 without a problem. Feeling cold, whilst the driver's in a sweat? No problem, thanks to the dual zone climate control. The biggest plus point of all though is that fact that it has an auxillary port. This headphone jack affair allows you to plug in your iPod (and other "leading" brands of MP3 players) into the car's stereo, so on an early morning listening isn't restricted to Chris Moyles. Hence, the reason why this is such a godsend.

Out on the road, this car comes into its own. I know I can't drive, but in the passenger seat I can definitely feel the G forces of the car, and how the run-flats cling on with monumental grip. Naturally, this being the face lifted BMW 3 series, (you can recognise it by the flame surfaced two front bonnet vertical power lines), and it being the SE version, this car has the 17" alloys which make all the difference to its forbear, which had to do with miserly 16"s. This must have been the one biggest complaint with the 3 series, and I am glad BMW have rectified it.

When the car does lose grip, it does so progressively, in an arc that is as controllable as that of an M3 on a computer game. Ok, so it has 140-odd horsepower, which isn't the most exciting amount, but the pleasure comes in maintaining what speed it has built up through the corners, making full use of its independent link suspension, and shod alloys.

I really can't justify the true greatness of its car, it is perfection. The lights are a particular favourite of mine, the front having the angel lights that give the look of the car an extra garnishing of technological superiority, and the back LED lights that glare out to other drivers, left eating dust in the wake of your hasty progression to some private party.

The bar has just been raised. Once again.

Stars: 10

Roman

Depriciation? Who makes up the rules?

Take a look at what I can only describe as a stunner. Designed by the great Walter de'Silva who is now in charge of design at V-Dub. The Alfa Romeo 156 offers the ultimate Italian thorough bred experience: style, speed and a harmonious engine note for a fraction of the price. Most of you sceptical people do not appreciate the soul, passion and sophistication an Alfa Romeo brings. Most people overlook the flawless styling with the reliability issues. 

I do admit there are some problems with Alfas, but non of which should be impossible to fix in the hands of a mechanic. However sometimes in Britain, it is the mechanic that is the problem. In my opinion it is (my honest opinion has been omitted from this part of the blog) which ruin Alfa's name. In Italy, your bog-standard mechanic can fix any marque, car, lorry,van or motorbike. Lets start at the beginning of the life of an Alfa, you buy it new or second hand for a price you believe is respective for a car in its league. If by a strike of misfortune you have some technical problem, you immediately take it to the trusted dealership to fix. They may spend many hours of your time, money and patience fixing the problem, but you could find (if you are very unlucky) it returns with the same problem. (my honest opinion has been omitted from this part of the blog) . The specialist tools that Alfa make specifically for their cars may prevent your local mechanic who's had forty/forty-five years repairing all sorts of automobiles from even taking off the plastic engine cover. In my opinion if you cannot fork out the money to buy some uniquely shaped screwdrivers and spanners and the original parts you might as well smash the car with a sledge hammer. 

I must admit Alfa Romeo's are born as works of art; throughout the ownership of an Alfa you are guaranteed to experience many contrasting emotions.

The Alfa has given my family some great memories, it drove us all the way to the south of Italy and back, which in itself is an achievement. I remember the first time I sat in the body hugging racing seats as we upped the revs as the tuneful exhaust note echoed through my ears; it was a world away from the cough and splutter of our diesel Fiat Tempra.  

The reality is that not all cars are valued on individuality, mileage, and specifications, some  are immediately slated because they are Alfa Romeos. During the space of around five years you loose almost all of the money you paid for the car my rust-bucket of a Fiat 500 is actually worth more than our 156! I feel that if Alfa Romeo offered the service and quality of their German counterparts, their cars would be worth a lot more in the long run. I also believe that Alfa can no longer put BMW prices on cars which have the mechanical specs of their FIAT siblings, they have the perfect designs, but need to develop unique platforms that are not found in your Average Giorgio's Fiat.

The future for Alfa Romeos must be with a bit more Vorsprung durch Technik.

Franco

Defacing a Mondeo

Now Europeans have been able to do pretty much everything better than other countries. We have a cultural heritage that America could not compete with, and another area in which we rule is cars. In America, it is deemed impressive if a car can do 20 mpg, whilst here, cars can do 70 mpg with a light foot. But that isn't where my argument really lies, it's more about how the poor people of America have had to put up with cars that look like European cars, that have just driven into a brick wall. The monstrosities that have come out of Ford's and GM's design room really beggars belief, but at least, they haven't made any of our nice European cars ugly in the pursuit to tempt car buyers to buy something economical. Until now.

Ford in America has finally come round to the fact that in Europe, Ford does things a bit (read: significantly) better, so they've essentially copied the Ford Mondeo. But one thing they haven't changed is good ol' American values. Which is of course, making things devoid of any curves. Out goes the sculpeted headlights, in comes in the rectangle ones. Liked the strong shoulder line of the mondeo? Gone. What Ford has done is reckless vandalism.

But alas, the styling of America is gradually leaking into the hearts of designers in europe. Take for example the brand new Toyota Avensis. An unappealing slab of silver boringness. The overly too big front with bulging headlights and oversized grill smacks of dullness, and this is from a company that used to pride itself on innovation.

My advice to Ferrari: DO NOT LET FOOTBALL PLAYERS BUY YOUR CARS

Nowadays football players are known for their infantile behaviour on and off the pitch. In my opinion I would not be happy selling a masterpiece of machinery to someone with the mental ability of an adolescent. All the hard work the guys back at Maranello did is in theory poured down the drain. It is true that footballers earn enough money a day to buy the whole of Wales, although I like to think of a Ferrari as a priceless object. You buy it because you know its the best a car can be; in terms of performance, beauty, and quality (I'm sure Ferrari like to state this as well). Ferrari has enough evidence to prove that footballers are not capable of driving their cars, such as Ian Wright, Kieron Dyer, and more recently Cristiano Ronaldo who crashed a £200,000 599 GTB . News reported that Ronaldo was unhurt, personally I was more worried about the car to be honest. 

RIPieces Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano 

Franco

Everything is going to change

At present, cars are grossly out of place with our future. Our future is one of empty underground oil wells, and years of soaring petrol and diesel prices. That is of course, unless we grow to accept a few fundamental changes to cars, the most apparent of these is the loss of the combustion engine.

Question is, what's going to replace that gaping hole in your engine bay? Every car manufacturer seems to have the answer, but how come they all have a different approach to solving this problem? Toyota was adamant that their Prius was the answer, but to me, a hybrid is just a stop gap to buy more time for Toyota to develop a proper 0 CO2 emission car. Honda on the other hand has taken their search for the clean emissions car of the future in a totally different direction indeed. They're using the most abundant gas in the world, hydrogen, to propel the FCX Clarity, and what's the emissions created? Water. Yep, no evil nasty gasses that'll kill the poor squirrels,and this is probably the future of cars for us. But not yet, oh no. like all things in life, there's a catch.

Hydrogen may be very common, but it loves to pair up with other atoms to form molecules. It's very hard to separate it into it's normal state. So, we need to use huge amounts of energy to pry Hydrogen atoms away from oxygen atoms to get to the hydrogen. So, for the moment at least, hydrogen cars are more wasteful than normal cars. When the hydrogen extraction process is made less energy demanding, then it will no doubt be the next form of car propulsion.

My favourite idea is a bit like what Tesla, the electric Roadster company has in mind. The cars they build are totally electric, and can be charged through the mains. I believe the way to get a truly 0 CO2 emissions car is to charge cars like this using energy produced by wind turbines or hydroelectric stations.

Roman