Road Test - Vauxhall Corsa

You may have heard that Magna (the company that builds the BMW X3 out of recycled wheeley bins and old tin cans) has bought GM Europe. What Magna could do is get rid of Vauxhall all together and simply sell RHD German built cars in the UK under the Opel brand. So keep hold of your British built Vauxhalls because they could be considered future classics. On the other hand, I consider future classics to be a pointless term, the same context can be easily be applied to so many other worthless hobbies such as stamp collectors; who collect bits of paper in the hope that they'll be worth something in the future. People do collect cars, look at Jay Leno for example, but cars are only worth investing in if they are monumentally rare or amazingly beautiful. A fact that I regret to thinking about is that cars have a purpose, and that sole purpose is transport. 

The third variant of the Corsa or the Corsa C as it is technically known, is excellent at getting people from A to B. More importantly, its the getting there part which makes the Corsa an excellent first, second third, fourth.......car. A small engine like the 1.2 doesn't seem to be a problem, the car is nimble, quick and is great to look at. For those of you who are looking for a first car, the Corsa 1.2 is cheap on tax, insurance and petrol. Its predecessor the Corsa B provided an affordable means of turning cars into a training shoe, in particular the kids ones with the flashy lights when you walk. Young people kitted out their motors with bodykits that scraped along the floor, neon lights and played terrible music out of the speakers that replaced the rear seating arrangements. Vauxhall tried to change that with the Corsa C, it doesn't need a bodykit or go-fast stripes, less is more, and the minimalist approach makes the Corsa a really iconic car.

Corsa is Italian for race, which brings a major problem. Now all the ignorant language-deficient people around the world will associate the word Corsa with a popular hatchback. Maserati built the MC12 Corsa supercar, an engineering masterpiece, built of mostly carbon fibre and and using bits from the Enzo. The world's richest of the rich didn't like it, not because you can't see out the back, not because it doesn't go over speed bumps, not because its a race prepared and has no luxuries what so-ever, but simply because they didn't want to drive a car that shares a name with the Chav culture of Great Britain. Names are important, put simply its the same shame faced by the children whose 15 year old parents named them Wazza-Dizzie-Rida-Tinchy-Fabregas. The Corsa has the capabilities of being a propa-chav-wagon, but with a bit of luck you might find one in prisitine showroom condition, perhaps previously owned by an old person who drove it a few times to shops. A low mileage 2002 Corsa can be snapped up for just under £2000 and will last at least another ten years to build up your no claims bonus. 

A small part of me does want to tint the windows and maybe improve on the Blaukpunkt cassette player, but all of these changes come as a financial burden; in the form of the insurance quotes. My cousin has kept his car in a factory leaving condition. The Corsa doesn't need a big exhaust, at 20 mph cruising speeds the engine is silent-ish, but step on the throttle and the small engine makes an attempt of being a race car. It has had numerous victories in the Tesco car touring car championships but it's reputation has been let down by the pensioners who pull out in front and then hold up the miles upon miles of traffic. 

The new smiley faced D variant is made from some left over parts from the Fiat Grande Punto parts bin, if you really have more than £5000 to spend get a Grande Punto, it looks better and Fiat don't need to give away facially disfigured dolls to sell cars. If you are a learner I wouldn't advise getting a new Corsa, the old one definitely has advantages on looks and is a bit easier to park. It could do with a better suspension, I wouldn't advise driving on bumpy gravel tracks by beaches, but on the road it seems fine and it is narrow enough to fit through the gap between some speed bumps.

Overall it was an enjoyable ride, I'm sure it would have been even more fun to drive, but this is only an assumption as always. In a few months time when I eventually pass my test, I will be able to give a valid and reliable opinion on the handling, until then just assume the Vauxhall Corsa is a good car.